Wow! I can't believe this is already the end of September!

Fall has arrived!
...well, the colors are not as intense as in other parts of the country, but here is a photo from this morning:

This has been a hard year full of many ups and downs, highs and lows.

I am thankful for the ability to work again in my field of training and expertise. I have been back in the OR for almost 2 years now after being out for 2. -- 2 new jobs working more hours than I thought humanly possible. Such a blessed opportunity to earn and try to catch up financially.

The boys have been real troopers knowing that Mom is gone for a reason and always trying to greet me with hugs and kisses--even when I'm an unbearable grump to them.

The Summer brought some surprising trials and struggles that I'm still working on. I know that the Lord does such incredible things when He is molding us and making us in His image. It's just draining sometimes and I often have the thought that I am in a hurry to get to the 20/20 hindsight because He is so faithful to do such incredible things through the darkest times.

This Sanctus Real Song is song intense. It really expresses what I'm been going through this year.

If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of

Then "cool" is just how far we have to fall

I am not immune, I only want to be loved

But I feel safe behind the firewall

Can I lose my need impress?

If you want the truth I need to confess

[Chorus:]

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside

And all I go through, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride

Bring me to my weakness

Until everything I hide behind is gone

And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to

Only you are there to lead me on.

Honestly, I'm not that strong.

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to you
Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone

And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on.

I'm not alright... that's why I need you.

I probably don' t want to admit that I struggle with pride, but it is there. I struggle with perfectionism and needing to appear like I have it all together. I really enjoy when someone tells me that I am smart and good at something. Maybe too much. A good friend shared some wisdom that it is more important to seek the Lord and find out who I am IN HIM. I am still trying to find out who that is.

I hope you are seeing the colors in your life this Fall and that the Lord is blessing you with the opportunity to see Him in all things.